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DittoWhen you feel the weight of life,
A weight you struggle so hard to bear,
When you take a look in the mirror,
But a face you know isn't there,
When you put on that worn smile,
And pretend you don't know pain,
Do your best to go through the motions...
Or baby you'll go insane.
Feel what you're gonna feel,
And at the end of the day,
We're just two worn out people...
Without enough words to say.
But through thick and thin,
Please do try to keep this in mind,
That you're my go-to person.
The closest friend I could ever find.
There will be windy people, I know,
The ones who will push you about,
But I'm not one of them.
So put aside all your doubt.
I'm not some whirlwind that will shake you-
I won't hurt you and go my way,
But if you push me too far,
Guess what? I'm still gonna stay.
I'll pray for you,
So we can take whatever this life has hurled
And together we'll manage...
As two broken people
Living in a broken world.
French FriesYou take one...
And then two.
Brush the salt off their sides.
You know you want to.
You ask me now if I'm okay.
I would say yes,
But I feel different today.
Instead, I eat a fry and stare at my lap.
(So much salt in my seat
With all this other crap!)
You look at me with worries in each eye.
I try to swallow to talk and I almost die!
Choking and gasping,
I wonder if you know.
You pat my back, whispering,
"I didn't think so."
My throat tightens...
And my tongue goes dry.
He asks, "Is there something lingering
...Between you and I?"
(Who buys a large,
Unless they want to share?
Hmm...more fries in my seat,
But how'd they get there?)
"I don't know", I finally manage to reply.
I never thought it'd be like this-
That I would have to lie.
He pulls out some ketchup and looks away.
"I think I love you"
...Is what I wanted to say.
I want to say it out loud
And get a real rise,
We quietly finish our cold french fries.
It pains me to see...
Your beautiful eyes,
Never seeing the real me.
What I am,
Who I wish I could be,
I'm not worthy enough,
Your sights are higher,
Not here at your feet.
Still, I stay here,
So far beneath you,
Hoping you can hear my heartbeat.
You don't love me.
You don't know I exist,
But I'll always be here.
Always in your midst.
BecauseGet out of the bed.
No use trying.
No use in struggling to sleep...
When you're already dying.
Pull on some clothes.
Get to your feet.
Hurry 'cause you have places to go,
Still, no one to meet.
For a moment,
Your laces perplex you.
Binding and weaving,
Tying the knot- it affects you,
Still you rush on.
You get in your car.
You press on the gas,
But you never get far,
Yet you arrive.
In the beginning,
you never thought you would.
Somehow the journey you took,
Had done you some good,
Because now you're ready,
Climbing your way to the top,
Looking behind you,
Never intending to stop.
But you do.
A few steps from your peak.
You see an end in sight,
But your will has grown weak.
You can network,
But you've made no connection.
You can outsource everything,
But not your affection.
Your shoes aren't tied.
And now you have two cold feet.
Back on solid ground, brooding,
Wandering every worn street.
You find your way home,
All on your own.
But no one is there to say hello.
Its true, you're alone.
What I See In YouYou just don't see it, do you?
You squint and you fret,
Rejecting every compliment-
Every one that you get.
So let me say this once,
And don't push it aside.
You're a vision- I'm dreaming...
With my eyes open wide.
You're warm and sweet,
On a scale of one to ten,
You're about ninety nine.
And I don't expect you to believe me,
I doubt that you do,
But you add splendor to this world.
If only you knew.
You're a blessing to see.
A privilege to know.
You're not normal, but unique,
If you don't mind me saying so.
There's not a gem quite like you.
You're a multifaceted jewel-
Iridescent and awesome,
Gorgeous and cool.
If you hear something different,
If you believe it and say
"I'm nothing special",
Please don't think that way.
They don't know you.
They don't know true beauty at all.
They see just dead leaves
While I see the wonders of Fall.
I wish I could give you glasses
Or unveil your eyes to see
Just how stunning you really are
And how much you mean to me.
MuteAll these years in your shadow.
Has kept me where I am today.
I'm not here to just keep quiet,
But there's not much I can say.
I saw you sin.
You shared the hurt.
Do you see what you did?
You left a stain before you left.
You should know-
Are you stupid?
Are you happy now?
I may never be.
While you live your life,
Your sins follow me.
And I can't say why,
Why I keep blaming you.
At some point my heart
Has got to give out something new.
Because the pain you left,
I shouldn't feel anymore.
If all that's left are scars,
What am I crying for?
I live my life in silence.
Isn't that how you made me?
Or am I the one holding me back
When I have strength to break free?
No, I'm not sorry to you.
Not after all this.
If you're expecting me to care,
Then you must be brainless.
Because the memories I hold
Got me here to this place.
My past, because of you,
Has just brought me shame and disgrace.
I had innocence once.
Slowly you took it away.
And I blame you for that
Because I relive it everyday.
ShyTerribly sorry I didn't arrive.
I know you were waiting,
But I made it as far as the winding drive,
Where the dirt meets the gravel
And there I sat.
The edge of each shadow I traced with my feet,
As I paced for a while making my speech
In the dead of night as if you could hear.
I said what I meant too far from your ear.
So sorry I couldn't stay just to see you tonight.
There's a reason for my absence,
Know that I do care,
But I couldn't stand to face you.
Even through thick panes of glass,
And, yet, there's a reason for my pain, alas.
I couldn't ask you to dance
Or be swift to whisk you away-
I couldn't risk marring your beauty
By my bumbling display,
But know I was here and I'm not going anywhere.
My friend, you're a vision, and my own heart's snare.
3 a.m.I'm up.
Can't close my eyes.
My head hurts...
Hope the pain dulls and dies.
Not another sleepless night.
Please come Sandman.
I won't put up a fight.
I can't sleep.
Why oh why?
It hurts to think.
I want to cry.
I hate you so.
Let me sleep.
Let me go.
Thinking of him.
I wish he'd come.
Save me from myself.
My heart's lonesome.
You came so fast.
My sleepless night will soon become the past
My ears are ringing.
I can see the miserable day this night is bringing.
No one to talk to.
No warm hug from a lover that's true.
Give me more time.
More time to sleep.
The minutes roll on
And the hours creep.
Stop the clock.
Close these eyes.
Sleep like a rock.
Yours TrulyWhat if I left and never came back...
Would you miss me? Would you think of me?
Tell me the truth- do you want me here with you?
I still want more although I expect less.
I drove myself insane one night thinking 'if only'-
I grew to be so crazed by this thought that I had to put it in pen.
I've been hurt and discarded before and, frankly,
I don't think I can bear anymore...
Especially from you.
If you don't love me that's okay,
But please don't tell me to turn off my heart.
I don't think it's possible.
I know you could have someone
Better, prettier, and more worthy...
If you agree, please don't tell me you do.
Why do I still hold out hope?
Maybe you'll love this quirky girl- but for how long?
Please leave a note here, a love letter,
If you could fathom loving me.
In the meantime I'll love you from afar as always
wishing wells and pumpkin shells
coffee with mint cream
wedding bells and magic spells
life is but a dream
mother says it's rain today
drought's been sixteen years
pigs will fly and cats will stray
seventeen brings tears
hooting owls and leopard prowls
burn the midnight sun
men with jowls eat fattened cows
never had such fun
father says it's time to go
new year's 'round the bend
can't be late for nature's show
fish-face now the trend
dreamer's dream and lover's love
wishing time would fly
blue moonbeam on heaven's dove
hope I never die
I Fell AsleepI fell asleep
In the arms of the enemy.
My worst mistake,
As I let his words get to me.
I left my life
In the hands of a killer.
I trusted my blood
To a man who's a murderer.
I closed my eyes
As he lulled me away.
I loosened my grip
As he began to sway.
I fell asleep
In the arms of the enemy.
I lost my life,
but I lost my life willingly.
Needle of the PineYou're a needle of the pine, my dear -
a poking of the spine, a narrow rod
to gently prod my heart in waters brine.
And when I fall, you pull me tall
to bask in heaven's shrine, for what you are
'tis not sub-par, my needle of the pine.
Solitary Mind of Connected MadnessI see a sliver in the outskirts of eyes,
Tripping on madness, of madness this ride
Is, a circus of freaks. And there's no place to move,
And no place to breathe there's no room it's
My mind pressing mirrors upon mirrors and halls,
Palms touching nothing but heat-slicken claws,
And bent are the fractures of twitches of dream,
And fragmented truths of escaped tragedy.
Sobbing are soldiers not laid seige to a cheek,
Fools that are weary, held back as they're freed,
And o how the merry-go-round spins its tales,
Moving forward, neverending, on circling trails.
Succumb to the effervescence of thrilling deceit,
Believe when you don't, acceptance is key,
Be lost with the timeless, unwavering charm,
In circles, not touching skin, all arm in arm.
I see a world on a sliver of fire,
Tripping on madness, on madness on wire,
Is it I'm slipping at the edge of a hope?
It's time to accept we're together
The real meaning of friendshipFriendship
Kidding around turns into
Remembering painful times
Ignoring the painful truth that lies ahead
Ending all hope
Never finding any good in it
Demanding they be there for you but they never
Seem to keep their promise of staying
Heartache and loneliness always comes at the end
Insightful friends are nothing but a myth
Promises broken and pitying oneself
In MorningThrough a wintry window laced with ice, lie
petrified panes of frosted grass beckoning,
languorously outstretched. A shivering bird’s cry
reaches horizon’s edge—that razor reckoning,
those impossible dimensions—hung like a kite
on a cloud, precipitously balanced between a dull
existence with poking pinpricks the only light,
and the embers of potential, slowly stoking. A lull
unfurls, a quiet eternity uncurling in that predawn
chill, everything faded to silent sepia, frozen
as though this instant is more important, torn
from time and left right where it was chosen
to be. Light spills over and creeps through
fractured, flinty sky turned a clear, unbroken blue.
SanityThe walls of this place were white,
Sanitation and cleanliness were no doubt at play.
Walking through them I search for the light,
Lost forever in this building, searching for the day,
The one where I would no longer be lost.
The rooms were empty,
Not a soul but for the ones at rest.
I wouldn’t say I felt guilty,
But what I had done, I would address,
And realize my action’s cost.
Continuing through these halls,
I can’t help but look at the paint.
I remember the red smears on the walls,
The copper scent lingering still and faint,
Yet luckily those memories I tossed.
I pass on, leaving behind this phenomenon.
I see a shred of the sun’s rays,
And quickly I leave my role of false surgeon.
Behind me the blood of my past lays,
Leaving it to the cold and frost.
Tick TockTick tock goes the clock
It's all a little hazy,
Tick tock she's in shock
The girl that we call Lacey
Little lines cut her neck
But no one wants to see them
All her friends wish she were dead
But no one wants to be them
One or two can make it through
The Hell that she lives in
But nothing that they say is true
So no one can believe it
Her life is just a bunch of rags
There's nothing that can save her
Her breathing comes in heavy drags
Each saying "You Deciever"
Tick tock goes the clock
It's all a little hazy
Tick tock she's a rock
The body we call Lacey
The City That Died ScreamingWhite phosphorus depicts the lands of Hell,
It melts the skin, it drowns the soul in flame,
The trigger finger has a tale to tell,
A medal for the winner of the game.
I beat you to the floor, you crawl away,
You look at me with haunted, angry eyes,
Don't you still hear the screams of yesterday?
I grin, what screams? And yet another cries.
I am your savior, bringer of the light,
The muzzle flash, the one that brings your end,
I'm here for you, I never want to fight,
Says he who used a bullet on his friend.
I ask, are you the monster, or am I?
Yet still we know we both deserve to die.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More